tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
