Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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