every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
