$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
