I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
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