I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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