So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
