I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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