how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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