i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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