It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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