New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
