guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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