It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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