Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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