just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i don't like sucking hair
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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