4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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