Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
