when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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