i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize