I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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