glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
