Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
