Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
