What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
