why didn't you poke me back
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
