let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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