Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he thought i was a dude.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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