yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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