Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to make a zoo with you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
