Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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