don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's never too late to be topless.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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