So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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