Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
