Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
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We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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