Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
