you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
