Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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