There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
