ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
