i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
