PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
