R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
