loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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