This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
