I'm really into asian looking animals
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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