i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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