Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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