I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
