i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
