This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
