I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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