yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
