Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You can't motorboat a personality
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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