is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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