You work out of a Hotel?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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