so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
