Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Are my feet made of real feet?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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