somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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