glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
