I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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