She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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