I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
