Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
